It’s becoming too much.
I hardly sleep when I sleep alone. Its making me so worn out, every last little thing makes me so angry or makes me burst into tears. It’s tiring me out.
You’re not in the best place. You make out you never are, but I’ve seen you truly happy, I like to think. You say you never have been, but I’ve seen that smile that just screams happy. I miss it. I want it back. Please bring it back. You’re claiming you’re not enough for me, you’re not worth it. If that was true why would I be back here for the godknowsth time? You are worth it, in my eyes. You’re everything in my eyes.
And to someone else. You don’t know the half of it. You don’t know what I’m going through right now. Part of me just wants to scream it at you, but I can’t do that and so I guess it’s not your fault. But you know I’m not in a good place right now, or that I’m just not in the right place to be dealing with your accusations all the time. Your snide comments really aren’t helping with how down I am right now. Surely no friend would want to make their friend feel any worse when they’re this down? Or maybe you’re not aware of how down I am right now. Or maybe it gives you a little buzz when you see me being hit with your sharp comments. I don’t know. But it fucking hurts.
People need to stop being so obsessed with this idea of a perfect youth. A) Because we’re 15, we have time for all that in the years to come. And B) Because there’s no such thing. You can’t have sunny days out and drunken nights in every weekend because that’s just not how things work. People need to do their own thing sometimes, and some people just seem to refuse to accept this. It’s like its wrong, like doing what you want to do is wrong. Are people not allowed their own freedom any more?
SO MUCH TO RANT ABOUT. I have more, but this is the internet. Despite the fact no one will ever read this, or if they do it’s unlikely it’ll be anyone that will be too affected by it, I still don’t want some information out there. Woo /rant.
