So you’re basically my everything. Like my everything. I don’t know what I could do without you now, and yet you and I both know the feeling isn’t mutual. I need you. And I love you. And you just aren’t there yet. And you will never know how much this is hurting me, cause honestly it’s killing me. I lay there in your arms and I know what you’re thinking about, and it makes my stomach drop and churn. 

You said it yourself, can’t we just be happy? I hate life. I partially hate myself for letting me get back into all this, especially so soon. But I couldn’t help myself and I still can’t. 

I’m sorry. I’m sorry for me and I’m sorry for you. I hope we can work through this.